Current life #9

Working with family arent that satisfying or good as everyone think it is,
at least working with strangers would probably be better because it wont hurt the relationship with family members. Frankly I dislike how my dad works sometimes, is like i dont know what he wants to do next and Im like on call for 24 hours of working, thats the harsh part. Is not a good thing for a child to complain bout his dad online, but i got no one to turn to. so i might as well blog bout it (ignore this post if you may)

Is like when I plan to take the day off, he has things to do, when is supposingly a holiday, I need to work and  there were times where is a holiday and I wants to go out with friends, he would plan for a family day. Im feeling so suffocating being his worker, and son. not only that, i really do feel suffocating literally because his a smoker and we work in a same room and when he smokes, I'll be the second hand smoker.
I dont want to die from a lung cancer that i did not do anything to suffer from that death, FUCK cigarettes. FUCK the inventor of cigarette and smoking.

Exclude my work hours, opportunity and luck are treating me really good and I hope this goes as long as it can. I actually Got an invitation to go US after i graduated. Is such a good opportunity, deeply appreciate and all gratitude goes to 'you' la this year. So currently im quite bz with my chaotic working hours and with the US visa application, so excited to be in US. End of this month will be heading to China for helping my dad.

Its not an easy thing i can say working for a relative especially a very close one.

Goodbye Grandpa 13062012

So much had happen since i pause blogging for who cares how long,

its because of my hectic life in college, and family, it hasnt been much of a good month for me, the pass away of my grandfather, pile up of reports and also my massive project.

The pass away of my grandfather 13062012 had been devastating to my family because my family cared for him, and he had stay in my home for mostly about 10 years when he has 8 childrens which include my mom, well, every family has their own story, honestly, dont get me started with the story, the irresponsible son towards the father, i hope this sentence sums up everything.

his funeral, and his favorite belongings (spec and his watch)

where he kept it with him all the time no matter where he is, they will be with him

During the funeral, everyone was so intense, when our mothers were crying, my cousins and i felt the sadness within too, is like when yr mother cry, u will cry too.. its kinda hard to describe the feeling, and i dont wanna feel that experience again, and i hope i wont see my mom cry like that again. NEVER.. its just devastating.

i always had thought that im a person that would face everything optimistic and always face something with a smile and not cry over it, but this is just not something i can stop myself from crying it out loud.

when i got the news from my dad thru the phone about his gonna be going away, i was like 'are you kidding me??!! how could this be? he had been such a rock headed man and he had been thru so much where he can stll also go thru this and get healed up' but minutes later my dad called again and telling me that his gone, i was like 'WTF!!! it couldnt be', and i started dripping tears when i was on the way to college in my friends car. (even whem im typing this i feel the shocking again)

In a way, im actually kinda glad that he passed away, because he can finally stop from all the suffering that his facing in the government hospital, and all other stuff,

Grandpa, i will be missing u in my life, i hope you, have a better life in yr next life 

Current life #6

 been very headache and heartache bout my current life schedules.. 

have to match up my education schedule, with family schedule.. is such a drag!!! 

the main reason of everything is because my grandpa is in hospital and need intensive care from my mom and aunts which leads to not enough car in home which only have one left and i need to go college if possibly with car and later on need to do choirs and fetch sis from school and to tuition.. all this is even adding more annoying stress on to me.. so grandpa please hurry up and heal!!!! may god bless you when yr doing the operation :) 你快点病好, 大家就放心的多了 :)

Emotional Night 29042012

what if friendship turns to love?

im sure theres many people out there in the world,

sometimes just fallen in love with their friends or had a crush on their friends

but how about if yr friend is alrdy taken by taken i meant he or she had their the other half or had a target or maybe he or she is the person that your not suppose to love?

felt like a bad thing to fallen into this state, sometimes i put on a mask while communicating, i know i shouldnt do this because that is something a good friend should be doing it,
but its really hard to face it

NO ONE really understands

there is just no one really understands me, not even what they call 'my best friends'...

well, some might say im taking those comments in the group way too far, but its like already reaching the limit for me already... some might say they were just wanna annoy me because im not attending the party and events that were planned by the group and thinking that i may take it as a joke....

but i dont sorry

do anyone of you know the reasons that i couldnt attend plans and gatherings during the last min..??
ever think of why..?? try put yrself in my shoe and dont be so hard on me *wtf*
my parents is protective which sometimes they will always think kinda too much and during the last minute they would say 'you better not go because of the accidents happened recently and this and that'...
and also sometimes i have to help out my family cause the office is in my house, therefore i need to help in office, especially when my father is about to leave for exhibition in other country

next, everyone has their own timetable and schedule of classes.. so for me, its hard for me to manage the plan along with my classes...
and also there are the transports problem..
i know there are such things as PUBLIC TRANSPORT, but do you know that malaysia has a lousy public transport..?? for ktm, it doesnt come on time, and if i waited for it, then when i arrive for the gathering, i wouldnt have the mood for gatherings anymore, i would be extremely tired and worn out.. it wouldnt be much fun ><

final and most important, i also have to plan my assignments too right..!!!!! everyone has their own assignments due date. so therefore, i couldnt just go and hang out and leave my assignments aside right..!!! assignments is just as important as gatherings and plans but if i ever failed to hand in my assignments i may fail and i need to pay extra for retaking that class.. which would be total waste of money and time...

well, im not concluding it that, you guys shouldnt invite me but, i need you guys to stop poking and annoying me about 'DONT NEED INVITE KAIBIN LA HIS ALWAYS LAST MINUTE FFK' 
cause whenever i saw those comments i will be like WTF? what u want from me? cant you stop and you made me totally speechless and pissed
im a person that loves gatheirng and meeting old friends but there are things i need to do okay..!!!!! and i felt terrible after what u guys said so please just stop :(

Bayside ♥ No One Understands

real's x-country

oh gosh.... my legs till to day is still hurting and is getting worse....
darn embarrased this morning in class....
was trying to put lotion on the face but i just had put just a bit to much....
everyone was laughing... but i myself feel glad
cause i get to make everyone happy just before the x-country starts....
luckily i have friends like chu shan to help me with the lotion... =]
THKS...!!!!
this run had been like a bit shorter... to me la.... but still fun...

let the picture tell everything...

the fight between the bigs.... 

before starts.... 

star and mun yi

shaun is possing...

owhmygosh....

chu shan with her charming smile

jun kang with his cool look...

ITS BEEN YEARS

today would be my most annoyed dat of my life and also humiliating...

cant blame it on anybody just myself to blame it on....

for not being serious in years of training in scouts

but never get your emotion over your mind...

ANY IDEAS..??? need help

mmhhh.....
today's the first day of school already and this would be the last year attending school or classes in seri suria... and just might gonna miss it or never...
and so as being a prefect.. gonna keep up with duties... and being a better student...
early in the morning today went in to class and putted down my bags and stuff... say hello to the gals and boys in my class.. then i jumped off for the prefect meeting and suprisingly choosed as a mc again... for assembly tomorow.... and man sometimes i really hate going up to stage.. cause it gives me the creeps and so as the stage frights.... haiz.... what is with me and stage frights.. cant overcome this idiotic problem i have... any ideas..?? T^T

and our class having a new student
erm welcome though.. never really speak to him.... lols...
just glad to see our class de GANGS again.... hahaha.. especially jin, wen and so as yen...

BIN

muakkzzzz... lolz

gonna miss them since not going to tuition anymore.. muakzzz... good luck to them in their relationship and studies

WHY AM I SO BLIND..!!!!!

Y AM I SO BLIND..!!!!!!!!!
aarrgghh... after est exam paper 1... i so mad la
I WANT A RE-TEST on EST..!!!!!
i-DIOT report..
so blind din read the instruction given properly...
then in ENGLISH paper 2 came out a question in section B
4 question...
one is 1MALAYSIA, talk about something (old fox) in chinese, one more forgot liao...then the other is continue story... "why am i so blind...." .... i was shock for a moment... then i laugh by myself... Y AM I SO BLIND JUST NOW DINT READ INSTRUCTION PROPERLY..!!!!!!! arrhhhh.....

maths was ok.. but the graph dunno will get full mark or not... takut la... T^T
the section A part all use gun and SHOOT...

is THERE..???

IM SO NOT A GAY..!!!!!
is that wrong to be close friends with girls...!!!!!
is THERE..??? im close with girls because I have more topic to talk with girls then talking with boys....
and is it a crime of taking pictures..!!!! aarrgghhh....
i just like to enjoy editing pictures only..... and taking only ma.... T.T
i know you guys use it as a JOKE but then its VERY sensitive..... hurts INSIDE...

is that a crime..?

arrived back home pretty late today...from tuition...
a lot of friends quit alrdy cause exam is coming near and also is the last term.. haiz.. gonna miss them..

chat with a friend there..haiz..
no offense to the 'friend of mine'... but he said that:
if yr sticking with girls and like be very friend with them... there will be people behind saying

u bad things or backstabbing... cause jealousy take place there.... haiz...

is that a crime to be nearing with girls... HUH..

i think we are going through the same problem...
being a friend is hard enough but being a *** is more hard...

what is so jealous about that...??