having one of the worst time in my life,
mental breakdown tonight.. its not the first time
the thoughts are hurting myself and injuring my self-esteem,
am in the condition of having thoughts of suicide due to stress of expectation, management and perfection
as a emerging jeweler, (designer and goldsmith) im trying to have all my piece or design to be in the manner of PERFECT thats how high my expectation towards myself
as a part of my family, im needing to provide my help and tolerance to parents and sibling in the matter of managing my time between my college time and in-house time and also managing transport as can i drive to college or not cause im not in a very wealthy family
as a student, im having a stress that everyone is facing as in the due dates of the assignments, and my current assignments is darn complicated, well also of course my self expectation on my assignment
as an individual, im having stress of being a dependable person where i do what i had promised
as a son, im facing family relationship problem as i had been keeping to myself and this problem will be remain to myself. As im not in a wealthy family, am always having a stress of family financial problem.
and also the stress of being nagged and warning by parents is the most annoying and stressing part entirely.
all of this is making me going insane and nuts making me to give up on everything and just stop college and work instead nearby my home as whatever that is easy to earn... its been countless time that i nearly had involve in accident cause im become very tired when im driving back and forth from college and if i were to take the public transport, i will need to plan and manage my time when im heading back of the college which this is the most mind breaking part where i need to ALWAYS negotiate with my parents and friends, i had been growing tired on doing this always asking for help from friends and course mates,
im certainly not having a good time when all the stress clashes together..
life is hard
im about to lose my mind
would suicide be the answer?
just a thought, no worries?
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